Updated: Dec 24, 2018
By Kealani Garrett
Ah, the holidays. The most wonderful time of the year as they say. When everything is full of love and light, and magic is found on practically every street corner. There’s just something about the season that’s so romantic, that makes you want to snuggle up with someone special in front of the fireplace in your fuzzy socks and tacky pajamas. The holidays—as we’ve been told—are the one time of the year where all our troubles will be miles away— but here you are, barely balancing your checkbook; struggling to keep it all together; and feeling like your life is a complete and total embarrassment. And on top of that, you’re as single as ever— tissue box in one hand and a gingerbread cookie in the other—with no one to kiss underneath the mistletoe. Odds are you’re thinking to yourself that the most wonderful time of the year might actually be the most depressing time of year, but that idea has got to go. No more watching Love Actually on repeat until your nose is as red as Rudolph’s. No, you’re going to survive this holiday season being single, and here’s how you’re going to do it without having a mental breakdown when a family member asks you that dreaded question, “So, are you seeing anybody, yet?”
Now, it probably would be easier to give you a list of things to do that could potentially make you feel better about not being in a relationship—but truthfully, all of that would be no good if your head is in the wrong space. Like most things, the holidays can be romanticized— so if you’re craving love this season, realize that love is not exclusively romantic. There is so much more to life than being adored by someone else, and what better time to learn this lesson than now? Maybe it’s cliché, as it’s a prevalent theme in nearly every Christmas movie and song out there, but this is a time to give rather than receive. So, instead of moping around and harboring this love within you, let everything you do emanate from it. Maybe it’s spending more time with your parents that you take for granted, or even something as simple as smiling to the people you come across on the street when you would typically be glaring down at your phone. Whatever it may be, learn to love from a selfless heart rather than a selfish one.
Of course, being selfless is easier said than done, and where does one even begin? Believe it or not, the most selfless thing you could ever do feels like the most selfish thing — yes, it’s loving yourself. And I know, you’re probably thinking, “how is this the most selfless thing I could ever do?” Well, the answer is as simple as this: When you learn to love and depend on yourself, you release others from the obligation of taking care of you. Loving yourself allows for more room in your heart for others, and what is more selfless than that?
The only way you’ll ever survive the holidays, and in fact, the only way you’ll ever survive this life is if you learn to love yourself so wildly. So, if you’re single, embrace it. Trust the timing of your life; be proud of where you’re at today; and be excited for where you’ll be tomorrow. And no matter what, don’t let anything stop you from wearing those tacky pajamas and fuzzy socks. Don’t let anything stop you from doing the things you’d want to do if only you were in a relationship. Life’s too short not to. And who knows — maybe by loving yourself, someone will notice and fall in love with you for it, and what’s more magical than that?
Now, go put on some Michael Bublé and you dance around that Christmas tree by yourself!
Pictures Provided by: Kealani Garrett